4pm

put the keys to the letterbox.

Hi, it's me.

You're not going to believe this.

I'm locked inside somebody's apartment.

No, I don't know.

No, I mean, I literally don't know. I mean, I think her name's Belinda or something like that.

She picked me up.

Yeah.

But anyway, I'll explain that later. The thing is, I'm a bit worried about how I'm going to get out of here.

Well, not without a parachute, no.

Look, Matt, the door's completely locked. I don't know where she works.

I don't even know if her name's Belinda. It could be...

inside Beryl Bloody-Reed's apartment and my knickers are sitting in her fish tank.

It's not funny, Matt.

Okay.

Where will you be?

Your ***, that's what!

Please tell me we're not here again. I can't believe this.

It's the last time, Jack. I promise you, Jack.

What the fuck is this with you and women?

our rules.

What about your job?

I've been trying to leave all day.

I tried to get out earlier.

I have three basic rules.

Number one, never believe what a politician tells you.

Number two, always wear at least one item of clothing that will stand out.

...