Best of #1159

If you're going to impersonate somebody, you gotta know their name, first of all.

-Fraser. -Did I get that?

Do you want anybody to know about the gas you're selling for 25 cents a gallon?

-Oh, come on. -Fred.

Listen, I don't want to use that on you, but listen.

You're a friend, right? Haven't I done you a lot of favors?

-I'm asking you to do me a favor. -Yeah, but you tell me favors,

but you know what kind of shit life you get me into?

I promise, I'll take the weight.

Listen, Fred.

Just stick with old Bond for a little, uh, old strip-o-pokerino.

A strip-o-pokerino?

Sure, why not?

I mean, I've never played this game before.

Oh, with the big football hero here?

I got, I got two tens.

-You're such a good... -King, I got two tens, I guess.

-I have three jacks. -Three jacks is the winner.

-Uh, I think that, uh... -That means we take off our clothes, though.

No, no, no.

Sherry, you're the loser. You have to take something off.

-All right, now we play the next game. -I'm gonna take something off.

-Why come you guys don't have to take... -Because you had the lowest hand.

...