Invaders from Uranus

There.

That's the frequency.

I must hurry and attempt to search all Huberns

to find Zorch.

He cannot hide from us in a humanoid form.

Why would he not want to return to our planet?

How could he find life on this awful planet

better than on Uranus?

The atmosphere must have gotten to him.

Zorch has found the Earthling's form of stimulation

better than in Uranus.

My sensors have diagnosed they have two heads,

a major and a ***** head.

The ***** on the upper portion of their body

is hardly used,

while the major head is used for bending.

This major head has one eye on a long neck

and is located between their legs.

When it is ready to transmit information,

it shoots out a white, creamy substance.

When this occurs,

the blending of information is completed

along with the lighting of a long, tubular object

that is ignited with a match.

Strange.

But why have not our sensors detected Zorch's location?

And does he have these two heads

in the physical form where he is hiding?

These humans seem to be a primitive race

in a physical dimension.

I prefer Uranus with its seven moons

that light our frozen nights and frigid, sunless days.

What is taking so long? And what is the proper human greeting again?

...