Peter North is Funny

Let me see your poem. I must have missed that.

Ah, I see. New opportunities are ripe.

That's good, because the old opportunities are rotten.

You poor man.

I lost my job.

Robbed at gunpoint, and you lost your job?

Yeah, I was a cul-de-sac designer.

Well, that's interesting.

That's kind of a dead-end job.

That's unfortunate.

Joke? Actually, speaking of dead-ends,

I'd really like to find out more about my sex life.

That's inappropriate.

What do you mean?

Well, from the looks of things,

I see that you spend a lot of time in the toilet reading men's magazines.

And I'd do anything to change that situation.

I mean, I want to be a doer, not a reader.

I want to be an achiever. I want to go out and find and meet that girl next door.

Mr. Archer, let me give you some advice, since obviously you don't have a clue.

Look around you.

The chances of finding the girl next door in this dump

are about as good as finding a princess on a porno set.

What's my alternative?

Suicide.

Or a mercy fight.

Do you read that in my poems?

...