Secret Diary of a Call Girl - Funny Moment

Yes, thank you.

Now, why don't you make yourself at home? Can I get you a glass of champagne?

What if you've got a bottle open? - Well, not yet, but...

Oh, well, then, don't worry.

OK.

It's a nice place. How long have you been here?

About four years.

And what do you do?

I do everything.

So what brings you here today, Simon?

I haven't had sex since I was 22.

Okay.

Shall we sort the formalities out first to just make things easier?

Yes, of course.

It's all there.

Lovely.

I'll help you in the shower.

And I'll be in there when you're ready.

Shall I take this?

Right.

Just read that.

So sad when they're like that.

Give me an hour with him.

I'll give you a new man.

Nice suit.

Thanks.

What do you do for a living?

I'm an actuary.

An actuary?

Yes.

I evaluated the risks in coming here, put them on a spreadsheet.

Risks?

It's an actuary joke.

Oh.

Sorry.

Are you sure you're okay with this?

Yeah, of course.

You must get some real perverts.

If I'm lucky.

Yeah, but you have to have sex with them.

Yeah, but it's not like that.

No.

No, sorry.

Sorry.

Would you like to kiss me?

Is that okay?

It's all okay.

Why don't you tell me?

You're so big. - Am I?

...