Vault Classics 211
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This is a species known as a valley girl. We'll call her Tiffany.
The fact that Tiffany is a girl who lives in the valley is not enough to make her a valley girl.
Valley girls, or vals as they are more commonly referred to,
are a highly complex breed made up of definable attitudes, speech patterns, and dress.
Let's start with the packaging.
First of all, the hair has a look of casual abandon, taking at least an hour to accomplish,
and is generally streaked.
These streaks are not from stress or worry, but from Ernesto Vincino,
who receives a minimum of $60 for his efforts.
This coiffure is not complete without a headband, preferably a metallic in nature.
No self-respecting val would be caught dead in a hat,
as hats are considered joney, a colorful expression meaning out of style or antiquated.
All true valley girls have pierced ears, from which dangle a variety of metallic sculptures.
While she also considers false eyelashes a thing of the past,
a val wears tons of mascara and is also quite fond of lipstick.
Her nails are acrylic and require filling once a week.
Legs are proudly displayed, but not until they've been bagged in a pair of opaque pantyhose.
Vals generally wear ballet flats with matching ribbons tied around the ankle.
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