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What's up?

What's up?

I'm so fucking mad at your dad.

Why?

I know I'm your stepmom, but I don't have anybody else I can tell this to.

Like, seriously, your dad...

I hate fucking living in New York.

We don't even have sex anymore.

And all he's preoccupied is with the playoffs, and football this, and football that.

And I'm like, Eli, seriously?

I freaking hate New York. I want to go back to Dallas.

And none of my friends are... they think I'm retarded.

They're like, "Well, he makes a lot of money, and he's famous,

and you have this beautiful stepson, and this beautiful family."

And I'm like, "I don't give a shit."

Like, I hate New York. I hate all the New York teams.

I want to go back to Dallas. This is not our home.

I know you're from here, and your dad loves it here,

but you know what? You're my stepson.

You have to side with stepmom, please.

Talk to your dad.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Well, I mean, I agree that Dallas is way better than New York.

Thank you. This is what I'm saying.

In every single way.

But, um, just... I don't know.

I think that's a problem between you guys.

I don't want to get in between my dad's money and you.

Okay, but he won't even have sex with me anymore.

...