Wife's mouth shared with buddy

I've narrowed down my options to either adoption or seeing a friend in Angelina have an extra one that could throw me under.

You know, if you really want to adopt...

For the last time, Ellen, I am not adopting you.

But, come on, I...

I already reached out to a lawyer who specializes in adoption.

Well, you're a perfect candidate to adopt.

I mean, you're highly educated, you're likable, you have a stable home environment.

Financially secure. No criminal record.

Handsome.

I don't think "handsome" really comes into play.

Doesn't it, though?

No, I don't think so.

Does it?

Are you being ridiculous?

Are you looking for your pigs?

Am I?

I'm not going to steal your pigs.

I will steal your babies.

Would you like to take them?

Mm-hmm.

So, as you can see, finances are not an issue.

I have a lot of extra free time, and I know I can provide a loving, nurturing home.

Are you okay?

Are you?

Seriously, do I need to call someone?

Never mind.

What's important is that I will cope the hell out of it.

Excuse me?

It'll be the name of my son's T-ball team.

Pretty Pink Ponies.

You know what? If my son wants to play for the Pretty Pink Ponies, so be it.

...